Living Life on Purpose....It is in the small stuff
A Lost & Found Friend…
God talks to me, sometimes a lot… sometimes a little…
It has not always been this way. I became a believer late in life, when I was 23 years old. After a few years of growth, God literally disappeared from my life for years. Have you ever had a good friend move away? This is what it was like for me. I was so used to hearing from God, and taking direction from Him… I thought it would always be that way.
I was wrong.
One day there was just silence. Looking back, I still don’t know why. The silence lasted for years, and then one day it ended.
The silence was broken. Like a lost friend, God was back in my life, giving me instruction and direction like he had never left.
I share this not as a message of despair, but one of hope. I’ve got my old friend back. He gives me instruction and tells me what to do. Like any friend, we have our ups and downs. This week, I’m kind of in the middle of a down. I’m actually kind of mad about something. I still hear Him, and have gotten better at doing what he tells me to do. But what happens when his instructions don’t make sense?
In my own personal life, I used to give people the silent treatment when they get on my nerves. (I still do sometimes… work in progress) Well there is no way in the world I’m gonna do that now! I can’t take another stretch of silence.
I’m learning to keep praying for direction, and guidance. The lonely years of quiet from God have made me thankful for each and every moment in His presence. Even when we disagree.
Looks like the years of silence taught me something.
I think music is a very spiritual thing. .. even in the Old Testament, music was just always involved in ceremonies and worship. Music just has that power to calm, or that power to move, or that power just to give you emotions of any kind.
Today is the last day of school. While I’m sad for the end of the year, I am very thankful for the teachers placed in my kids lives.
My kids were surrounded with kindness, empowered to learn, and encouraged to succeed.
Thank You,
For Everything
Coffee + devotional + sunshine + this view from my front porch = absolute happiness. (Taken with instagram)
Just in case someone was wondering what that 2x4 was doing by the door. It is now labeled. Gotta love the obvious. (Taken with instagram)
the proof of Your love
God has placed the idea in my heart to demonstrate love for others in all my actions. I’m learning that he wants this ALL the time, not just when I’m in a good mood, or at church, or when I feel like it. Initially it seemed like a reasonable challenge, I think I’m a fairly nice person. How hard could it be?!?
Of course the more I think and pray about it, the more the idea of love has started to take root. As Christians we are called to love our neighbor, but what does that really mean? How does one turn love into an action? What does it look like? How does it work? I know how to be kind to others, but do my actions demonstrate His love?
I heard this song yesterday by the band For King and Country, and had a total full circle moment. Ever listened to something which feels as if it is written for an exact moment in time in your life? ”Proof of Your Love” is the song, and the moment for me is ongoing.
The verse they share is 1st Corinthians 13
If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
I’m not sure where God is taking me on this journey, but I will enjoy the fact that He has chosen to take me somewhere, even if it is difficult. My prayer today and every day until He tells me otherwise is to learn to live a life that demonstrates the proof of His love.
I am thankful that my journey has this lovely theme song. Enjoy.
Where did the time go?
I took this picture as the boys were walking home from the bus stop. There is just 9 days left of school for this year. It seems like only yesterday I was hiding my tears behind sunglasses while putting them on the bus for the first time.
Sometime in the past year, my little boys grew up. They became these smart, funny, kids who are no longer little. (sniffle, sniffle.) I took this picture to help myself remember the youthful joy and exuberance they display when Mom does the simple task of letting them ride the bus home.
Is thankful for the gift of a garden this Mothers Day. This little guy is gonna make some tasty strawberries. (Taken with instagram)
The Journey
I havent blogged in a while.
No idea why.
Ton of things on my mind, just can’t narrow my focus.
I’ve decided to focus more on the journey than the destination.
Tomorrow.
I had to get out of the house today. My anxiety and frustration level reached a boiling point. No reason, just one of those moments. So I did something, I rarely do. I went for a run. As I was leaving the house, I downloaded the CD What if We Were Real, by Mandisa. Not sure why, just felt like listening to it. In hindsight, I know the timing was absolutely perfect.
I wish I could describe my run today. It was great (and I am NOT a runner, so that is not the reason why.) There is such a peace that comes from being outside with myself, my God, and a bit of great music. This song spoke to me at the right point in time. I began to wonder what I lived life for today? Did my actions match my heart? My frustration today, was caused by a loss of focus.
If you have never heard it, take a moment to listen. Will it make you believe the Truth about yourself?
Not sure who was more excited…
I volunteered in Nehemiah’s class today. He is in Kindergarten and has been asking me to help out in his class since the beginning of the school year. One of the large reasons that I left my old job was little things like this. A good friend once told me as a parent that “the days were long, but the years were short.” I didn’t understand that at the time, but I do now.
I am the parent to two six year olds and a four year old. Just yesterday I had kids. I am still trying to figure out where the time went.
So today in class, I did not do much. Math, Reading, and a fire drill. (just in case you were wondering fire drills are not quite as fun as a teacher as they were as a student). I LOVED every minute of it. I also got the added bonus of being known as “Nehemiah’s Mom” for the morning.
All in all, it was a great day. Honestly, I’m already looking forward to going back.
Just saying, not sure who was more excited, Nehemiah or me.
It’s Been a While…
There is a reason for that. I have only blogged a handful of times in the last 6 months.
Have you ever had so much in your head, your heart, that the words can’t even be written? In a dark place you can’t seem to escape? That just scratches the surface of where I have been.
So why now? Why have I begun blogging again?
I’ve been healed.
I’m not talking about that “Christian-ese” generic expression of healing that we use all to often. I’m speaking of a serious transformation. I spent the better portion of my week in prayer, and in Church learning about the power of the Holy Spirit. So, on Tuesday I swallowed my pride and asked God to heal me from the heartbreak of the last six months. This is asking a lot as I have a lot of pride to swallow… and a fog of depression, anxiety, and stress to clear.
What followed was an incredible experience that I have am still processing and putting into words. (I’m not sure if I really have the words just yet.) However, I do know that from that moment of healing, I have begun to really live life rather instead of going through the motions. My pain, fear, stress, anguish, self-loathing, and disappointment are just plain gone.
With that junk out of the way, I’ve found my voice again.
Welcome back, I’ve missed you.
What if I don’t want to start over?
January 1, 2012 is the start if a new year. With every new year, comes the talk of resolutions and starting over. In my heart I’ve been thinking, what if I don’t want to start over??
I lost my rose colored glasses quite some time ago. So I won’t pretend that this year has not been fraught with just as many challenges as successes. But, I’m pretty sure no one ever promised my walk would be easy. I don’t want to start over, because the experiences of the past year and those before have all developed me to be the person I am today. I’ve not always been able to say it, but I like who I am.
I’m choosing to see 2012 as just another day. Rather than rewriting my story, I’m just adding another chapter. Thanks for reading.
